The Mouthwash That Keeps on Giving: Listerine Royalties and the Art of Passive Income
Hey there, financial freedom seekers and passive income enthusiasts! Buckle up, because we’re about to dive into a minty fresh opportunity that’ll make your wallet feel cleaner than your teeth after a good gargle. Today, we’re talking about an investment vehicle so unique, it’ll make Bitcoin look as common as pocket lint. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you: Listerine royalties.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. „Listerine? Like the stuff that burns my mouth and makes my eyes water?“ Exactly that, my friend. But trust me, this burning sensation is about to hit your bank account in the best way possible.
A Bit of Mouthwash History (Don’t Worry, It Won’t Taste Bad)
Let’s take a quick trip down memory lane, shall we? Picture this: It’s 1881, and a dashing doctor named Joseph Joshua Lawrence has just concocted a magical elixir he calls „Listerine.“ No, it wasn’t named after his pet lizard. It was actually a nod to Joseph Lister, the pioneer of antiseptic surgery. (Bet you didn’t see that coming in a finance article, did you?)
Now, our boy Lawrence wasn’t just smart with chemicals; he had some business savvy too. He licensed his formula to a pharmacist named Jordan Wheat Lambert. And here’s where it gets juicy: They signed an agreement that would make modern-day lawyers weep with joy.
The Deal of the Century (Or Two)
Lambert agreed to pay Lawrence a royalty of $20 for every 144 bottles of Listerine sold. But wait, there’s more! This agreement wasn’t just for Lambert himself. Oh no, it extended to all future „heirs, executors or assigns.“ Talk about thinking ahead!
In 1889, they tweaked the deal, lowering the royalty to $6 per 144 bottles. Now, you might be thinking, „Way to go, Lawrence. You just got yourself a pay cut.“ But here’s the kicker: They never put an end date on this agreement. It was the „till death do us part“ of business deals, except death didn’t even stop it.
Fast forward to the 1940s. Listerine’s formula becomes public domain, and Warner-Lambert (then making Listerine) thought, „Aha! We can finally stop paying these royalties!“ They sued to end the agreement faster than you can say „plaque-fighting power.“
Plot twist: The court sided with the royalty owners. That’s right, folks. Even when the recipe was out there for everyone and their grandma to use, the company still had to keep paying. It’s like being charged rent on a house you built yourself, using plans you found in the public library.
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Now, here’s where it gets really interesting for us modern-day money mavens. These royalty rights didn’t just disappear into the ether. They’re still kicking around, passed down through generations like that weird family heirloom no one wants to talk about, except this one’s actually valuable.
We’re talking churches, universities, hospitals, and yes, even private investors like you and me, all getting a piece of this minty-fresh pie. It’s like the world’s longest-running passive income stream, and it’s still going strong.
But How Can You Get In On This Mouthwash Money?
I’m glad you asked, hypothetical reader! Thanks to the magic of the internet (and probably some lawyers who got very excited about old contracts), you can now buy these royalty claims online. Sites like RoyaltyExchange.com occasionally list Listerine royalty rights for sale.
Now, before you go maxing out your credit cards, let’s break down what this looks like:
- These claims vary in price, but they’re often surprisingly reasonable. We’re talking potentially less than the cost of a luxury car for a lifetime of royalty payments.
- The yields can be pretty attractive. For example, a recent listing had a price of $1,095,000 with annual royalties of $64,402. That’s a multiple of about 17x, which is actually lower than the price-to-earnings ratio of Kenvue, the company currently making Listerine.
- There are even smaller claims that pop up for less than $25,000. But these tend to sell faster than Listerine during flu season, so you’ve got to be quick.
The One Tiny, Minty Caveat
Now, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t mention the one downside to this otherwise fresh deal. The original contract didn’t include any provisions for inflation or price increases. That means the royalty is still $6 per 144 bottles, just like it was in 1889.
On the bright side, Listerine is a household name that’s stood the test of time. It’s outlasted empires, survived world wars, and is still going strong in the age of TikTok and cryptocurrency. If that’s not stability, I don’t know what is.
Wrapping It Up (With a Minty Bow)
So there you have it, folks. Listerine royalties: the passive income stream that’s been flowing longer than the Nile. It’s a unique opportunity that combines the stability of a blue-chip brand with the quirkiness of a 19th-century contract that just won’t quit.
Is it going to make you an overnight billionaire? Probably not. But it’s a rock-solid addition to any diversified portfolio, and let’s be honest, it’s a great conversation starter at parties. „Oh, you invest in index funds? That’s cute. I own part of your morning breath prevention routine.“
As always, do your own research before diving in. And remember, while Listerine might kill 99.9% of germs, it’s up to you to make sure this investment doesn’t kill your bank account.
Stay fresh, stay financially savvy, and keep an eye out for those Listerine royalty listings. Who knows? Your next passive income stream might be as close as your bathroom cabinet.
Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment purposes only. It’s not financial advice, always do your own research. And for the love of all that is minty fresh, please don’t gargle with your investment portfolio.
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